The Handful just turned 40 weeks old, exactly how many weeks she spent baking in my belly.  40 weeks in, 40 weeks out.  Obviously she’s not a year old yet, but this milestone has caused me to pause and reflect on some things none-the-less.

Dear 1.0,

You’re probably puking right now and now that we know that’s helpful in the delivery, take comfort in knowing that each and every vom is money in the bank for your delivery. Despite this Hyperemesis ruling your life right now, Karma makes up for this in the room (and in recovery).  

However, game-day is the least of your worries.  You’ve been reading the wrong things girl!! Put the pregnancy books down and pick up the baby books and parenting books!  Pregnant is just gonna suck.  Ok, that’s it.  It’s also the most temporary phase.  Actual baby is a much longer phase!

Practice with the car seat. Lack of sleep and first day jitters get the best of you and Baby Daddy on this one.  You’re better than that, you are capable of practicing with the thing before the baby.

I know you’re scared right now, but you’re going to be awesome!  Who knew!?  I’m typing this to us surprised at this.  You actually have maternal instinct AND you’re calm in scary times.  I’m so relieved to report this.  I mean I could’ve been sending a letter back in time like BEWARE, but actually I’m hi-fiving us! There are some really really really hard nights, and there are some scary dark thoughts that creep in there, but you knew this could happen and you weather it with Baby Daddy.  Baby Daddy steps up beyond your expectations and is the rock you need.  Have faith that by her 6 month birthday you will be happier than you ever imagined you could be and that it’s worth all the hard parts (even the horrible hard parts). Don’t be scared of her, she loves you and isn’t that fragile.  She’s your sidekick!

You make new Mom friends (and baby friends!) by going to a lot of Mommy & Me classes just like you planned.  This strategy worked, as always, maintain course.  You get the assist of a lifetime from Team Captain when she emails you to try out for the famed Shecago Bulls, and I don’t want to spoil things but you’re ultimately a starter for them and go on to win Defensive Player of the year.

Now, the hormones will getcha from time to time.  You won’t realize you’re hormoning until after the fact, but Baby Daddy is pretty cool about your freak outs.  Actually you could probably add a few more apologies into the mix, just to keep morale up.

Oh! Breastfeeding. Ok.  I know you said we would, but we have a tough time with it.  We have a solid plan B in place, and we go down swinging with the breast pump but ultimately wean to formula by Thanksgiving. You beat yourself up for this, but I still can’t figure out why because all my future clarity points to this being a great decision for everyone and yet you really struggle on this one. Knock it off.  Your nips weren’t having it that’s the card you were dealt, everyone lives and frankly everyone is happier without you pumping throughout the night.

Beyonce comes out with a song we really like, even though we’re not really Beyonce fans.  It causes us to read an article where she says her daughter introduced her to herself.  This resonates.  I’d like to expand on it though: The Handful is your muse to your better self.  Your 2.0.  She brings out your brave, your responsible, your humble and creates a spot in your heart that is just for her. You look in the mirror and smile back with pride because you like this you.

So relax because you really have EVERYTHING to look forward to.  Oh and also, if I get to you before you fly to Chicago, don’t eat the Heaven on Seven gumbo because you puke it up in a parking lot and spicy does not vom well. Hope this reaches you in time!




Dear Me: A Letter to My Pregnant Self