I just stumbled onto this GOLD MINE today when we went to Starbucks this morning and I had gentlemen falling over themselves to get my coffee and walk me to my car.  Borrow a kid, or use your own and dress it in the opposite sports team as you.  That’s it.  The men do the rest.  They literally were bumping into each other trying to get our attention today at the part of Starbucks where you wait for your drink.  Baby Daddy and his entire family are from Chicago, as is my mother, so while I grew up in New York as a Mets fan, pretty much everyone else in The Handful’s life is a Cubs fan.  Obviously this has never been a conflict for me growing up and I was for the most part able to safely root for both teams.  This year, the year The JLL became Cool Mom, the Mets get their acts together too.  Actually in many ways, I am the Mets and this is my time to shine too.  I digress.  As it happens, all of The Handful’s clothes are packed and at the new house, so her Cubs onesie is getting a lot of use as it’s one of the things we left out.  Anyway, we go for our morning walk and I’m feeling parched so I felt around my pocket and had enough cash on me for an iced coffee (which I’m told serial killers order, so that’s cool) and we loop around into the local ‘bucks. It starts on the walk in, the raised eyebrow high five from the guy mopping.  You know that eyebrow high five you give to other out-of-state sports fans when you locate each other and your team just won?  That one.  So I’m all #LGM and give him a little Vinny Jersey Shore fist bump beat the beat gesture and keep it moving.  Inside I see the fellas looking at us, and it’s then I realize what’s going on, I’m like ohhhhhhhhhhh it’s not because I’m wearing The Orange, it’s because my kids literally hanging on my front in the carrier all #FlyTheW.  Listen, I was a rascal in my single days, so once I connected the attention dots, my rascal wheels started rolling and I wanted to see if I still had it.  These Chuckleheads made it easy, “Ohhhh, Daddy’s a Cub’s fan” (4 out of 5 used that opener).  “Yep .. baseball baseball, baseball baseball, I’m a Mets fan … baseball baseball” He steps up to the plate, ok stop, the register, and WHAMMY, buys my coffee.  Think about what I just said and apply that to a sports bar.  Fishing with dynamite friends.  Fishing with dynamite.  Borrow a kid, or use your own and as much as it pains you, get the opposing team’s jersey and wear a little mascara.  It’s not even fair.  I didn’t even shower yet and these mens were all “sports, boobs, sports, boobs” at 7 am.  Lest you think I’m a she-devil, Baby Daddy doesn’t watch sports at all, so I had to legitimately make him fall for me, I couldn’t use my tricks on him.  Now go out and catch that silly sports fan, ladies!

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