FIRST BLOG POST OF 2017
Full disclosure, I typed 2016 first. Typical.
All my blogger friends are posting their first posts of the year, announcing their goals and stuff they’re doing differently, reminiscing about the holidays. I got nothing. We survived the holidays. Barely.
It started when my mom came to visit. She arrived before Christmas to spoil all of us on our own holiday. Except when she got here, I started to feel not so good. But like functional not-so-good, so I plowed on. Exposing everyone to germs and taking down the entire family.
The grandmas swap and Gaga comes out to take her turn spoiling and loving on us. When Gaga gets here, it’s clear I’ve got something, but again it’s not taking me down, it’s a walking vomit flu. No, it’s not until #TheHandful Linda Blair pukes all over the white carpet, thoroughly covering the (dirty) laundry too (#soblessed), that we realize this is a flu.
Enter the longest flu of all time. The 10 day stomach slug. It stays so long it’s got a mortgage on your intestines. Christmas AND New Years were spent sippin’ on Pedialite and nibbling saltines. Maybe 8 days into my misery, Baby Daddy gets taken down. Head in the toilet he’s all “I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M GONNA HAVE 10 DAYS OF THIS”. Poor guy had to miss the first few days of work! Can you imagine being so sick that top of the year you can’t make it in, like that’s brutal.
Once he was finally healthy I ran around the house like Lisa Rinna wiping down every surface with Clorox and Lysol. Doorknobs, surfaces, light switches, everything got the bleach. Never.Forget.
While y’all are starting your New Years diets, be jealous that this stomach flu enabled us to start 2017 at our goal weights. Positivity, y’all.