Or: 5 Signs you Might Have a Strong Willed Child
I’m always trying to help you guys by sharing my mistakes and nonsense as well as the super dope genius moves that make me average AF. I can claim neither here so I must instead pivot to how to recognize if your kid is like mine and you need to chill out with your “training” and let your kid call the shots.
After about a week plus of no accidents, we noticed a pattern developing. She was more than happy to go to the potty to pee, but was perfectly content to hold number 2 until she got her nighttime diaper. I had no idea how to remedy this. I turned again to our preschool for guidance and the teachers again told me to keep my helicopter on the ground and let her do her thing.
To refresh you we’ve been doing no diapers during the day, a diaper for sleep. One of my favorite potty cues that she gives is when she hides in my closet and looks at all my purses. That is her #2 tell.
One night we were watching The Boxtrolls in bed together before Daddy came home and she goes “mommy I want to look at your purses”. My helicopter lifts off the ground and is like THIS IS IT. Then I recalled my advise from the teachers and was like ok ok ok what do I do here, I can’t do anything I am going to nothing. Ok I am going to suggest. I am going to suggest here, that’s the plan. “Why don’t you sit on your potty before you come back to finish the Box Trolls” I said in my creepy yet adorable Boxtroll voice. It doesn’t count as parenting when the instruction is coming from a Boxtroll. She answered “Yes” in her Boxtroll voice and I don’t know what made me prouder: that she does voices, or that I was right I can talk Boxtroll and she’ll listen.
She asked for privacy and walked down to her potty. I heard a scream. A legit scream. I run down the hall and I see her standing next to her potty screaming and pointing at a gigantic poop that missed the toilet. She told me she started to poop and panicked so she stood up and that’s how it got there. I hate poop y’all. Hate it. I threw out the rug. I wasn’t touching that shit (pun intended). We did a poopoo dance and I said “yo next time stay seated and it will land in the potty”. The next day she did it and just like with #1 she has been very consistent since.
So while the story of the poop on the ground is gross and awesome, I figured it might be more helpful to let you know what a “strong willed” child is like so that you can maybe avoid the headache of trying to train a kid who probably wants to train herself.
5 Signs You Might Have a Strong Willed Child
If your kid fits the following descriptions, keep your helicopter on the ground:
1) Asks “Why” a lot. Strong willed kids need the reasons behind pretty much every limit you set. When I say to Mickey “Hey don’t run by the pool” she always says “Why I can’t run? I can run on the grass though yes?”
2) Whenever you do offer reasons to do or not do something, your negotiator finds loopholes and technicalities within EVERYTHING. If you tell The Handful not to eat grapes, she’ll grab a raisin and say “I can eat this”.
3) They like to make up the games and the rules and like to tell people where to stand etc – some people say Bossy, I prefer Leader. They’re leading people to their vision!
4) Flat out refusal when it comes to things they don’t want to do. Screw capability, it’s all about control here. They might know their colors or their numbers backwards and forwards but when they don’t want to show you which one is yellow they either pretend not to hear you, completely change tasks or bust out into a rager on the floor. The Handful can run across the balance beam when she chooses, or she can demand a coach’s hand just because she’s in the mood.
5) They move at their pace. Interesting things get all their energy and attention, not interesting things or y’know, walking to the car can take a glacial pace. The Handful’s aunt caught this early on. I was concerned The Handful didn’t know her colors but she was showing her aunt and grandma all the colors correctly. Her aunt told me that she obviously knows them, the issue was she didn’t want me quizzing her on them so when I would say “show me yellow” she would pretend not to know. I can’t even you guys. I was like omg she knew the whole time and was legit tricking me.
While the above list can seem general, the strong willed kid will be “extra” of those. You’ll be like oh wow all five of those really describe my kid if you have a strong willed one. If that’s your Future Leader then from our experience I can say let them take over. Learning this about The Handful has made setting limits and expectations way easier. That’s all I got for ya, I’ll keep sharing as I keep learning (and cleaning poop). Oh and this, I met this super nice chick in the bathroom who was so wise when she counseled me “I’ve never seen a seven year old in diapers”. Yes. YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Also, how are you veteran moms doing the public bathrooms? How do you poop them on the go? Do I carry around a to-go potty? What are my moves here people, I’m only used to home games …!!!!